Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The big day

Tomorrow is the big day. I start work again after 3 beautiful, difficult months home. Beautiful because I got to spend countless hours starring at my sweet little girl's face and difficult because I'm just not one of those mothers who is perfectly happy at home with kids all day long. I crave adult interaction and the predictable hum of life while working. Life is much easier when you know what to expect each day, to me at least. I've been sad, excited, apprehensive and nervous all day getting ready to walk out of the door tomorrow. I know my children are in loving and capable hands, but they aren't my hands...

I know we need the second income and I truly miss the girls that I work with, but at the same time, my heart is still breaking a little. I know tomorrow morning, Luke will run in the door at Carrie's and never look back, happy to play with Cameron and his little friends, and Brooklyn is far to young to realize that I'm leaving. But I'll probably cry, just like last time, as I walk out of the door and head off to work.

Bags have been packed and re-packed, the breast pump is stowed away with all of it's parts, my lunch is packed and our outfits laid out... Now if only I can make it to the parking lot at work without mascara streaming down my face...

2 comments:

Lora said...

I'll be thinking of you all day. I hope you find solace in "normalcy".

Mommy D said...

I'm surviving, barely... I've hidden my cell phone from myself so I can't call and check on the baby every 5 minutes...