No More Baby Making

So, after much talking and number crunching, Matt and I have agreed that we are most likely finished having babies. Though I know I could easy handle bring pregnant again, the thought of being out numbered has put an end to that. We got a boy and a girl, both healthy and happy, and that's all that really matters. Hence, on to the task of trying to clear out the ridiculous amount of baby clothes that we have in storage.

I'm pretty sure the last time that I counted we had 7 or 8 HUGE storage containers full of Lukey Duke's outgrown clothes, most in darn new perfect condition. I'm hoping to bring it all to work and offer most of it to the new moms and dads in the office. Anything left will probably either be sold to Once Upon a Child or offered up at a yard sale that we desperately need to have...

If anyone is interested in boys clothes (sized preemie to 2T) or a few pieces of newborn to 3 month girls clothes, let me know.

On to my first FULL week of work, so far so good, we had a great morning, so hopefully the rest of the day will follow along nicely. Did I mention that it is forcasted to be 92 degrees today? HOLY HELL!!! Where did Spring go?

3 Months Old

I can't believe my little girl is 3 months old... Has it really been that long? Wow, that went bye far too quickly.

We survived our first week (well, 3 days to be exact) back at work and daycare and I can't even begin to describe how overwhelmed I felt. My job is such that even an absence of a few days can reek havoc on the old skill set, so you can imagine what 3 months did... There are new faces, and some of the old faces are missing, but all in all, I think I'll get my swagger back pretty quickly. At least I can find relief in the fact that I work with an awesome group of women who have my back and are gracious enough to help me when I need it, like say my 3 pumping breaks during the day! I wonder if they realize how much I appreciate the fact that they are willing to help a sista' out? If not, bribery by Starbuck.s will have to do!!!

Back to my doll... She already seems so different, so much older. She's laughing and cooing all the time and can hold her head up when I carry her against my shoulder or in the Bjo.rn, and in a way I'm both thrilled and a little sad. With every milestone she reaches and overcomes, she becomes less and less baby, and more toddler, more "big girl."

What a fragile and breakable little thing she was just 12 weeks ago... So different already... Ah, the joys of being the mommy...

I think I can, I think I can

By my watch, I'm about half way through my first day back at work and I haven't sobbed yet. I have gotten quite close though, while sitting in the arctic quiet room at my office pumping. Having to wash all of the parts after every pumping session ( I'm pumping 3 times a day) looks like it's going to be a hassle, but I think I'm doing quite well. I do feel pretty useless though, things have changed a lot in the 3 months that I was gone from work, so I'm having to ask the girls on pretty much anything I venture on trying to do. They've been amazing, just like I thought...

Oh yeah, my poor feet are KILLING me. It's been 3 months since I've worn anything other than flip flops and I can definitely feel it. Easy dinner planned for tonight and then off to bed early.

The big day

Tomorrow is the big day. I start work again after 3 beautiful, difficult months home. Beautiful because I got to spend countless hours starring at my sweet little girl's face and difficult because I'm just not one of those mothers who is perfectly happy at home with kids all day long. I crave adult interaction and the predictable hum of life while working. Life is much easier when you know what to expect each day, to me at least. I've been sad, excited, apprehensive and nervous all day getting ready to walk out of the door tomorrow. I know my children are in loving and capable hands, but they aren't my hands...

I know we need the second income and I truly miss the girls that I work with, but at the same time, my heart is still breaking a little. I know tomorrow morning, Luke will run in the door at Carrie's and never look back, happy to play with Cameron and his little friends, and Brooklyn is far to young to realize that I'm leaving. But I'll probably cry, just like last time, as I walk out of the door and head off to work.

Bags have been packed and re-packed, the breast pump is stowed away with all of it's parts, my lunch is packed and our outfits laid out... Now if only I can make it to the parking lot at work without mascara streaming down my face...

Happy Easter!

All was fun and beautiful today, as every first Easter should be. The whole family came out to watch the kids run around the park pushing and shoving to collect the most eggs that daddy and uncle Justin had hidden so artfully amongst the tall grass and trees. I have a habit of letting go a little on holidays and letting my little boy wolf down as much candy and sweets as he'd like, as long as it only lasts the day of the holiday. So, after hours of sweet tarts, cupcakes, coconut cake, and mini snicke.rs bars, Capt. Duke is blissfully asleep, teeth scrubbed, bathed and ready to face Monday. Brooklyn was a champ today as she was passed amongst the family and only cried here and there to remind me to stop being the hostess and feed her. The kids made out like bandits with tons of Easter baskets filled with stuffed animals, cute tiny outfits and plenty of cars, monster trucks and construction equipment to keep them happy and busy for hours. Matt's best friend Justin, his wife Persia and their munchkins Ava and Dylan even came over to share in the sugar fueled madness. I even got to play a monster round of squirt guns and tag with the Duke which I haven't been able to do for quite a while. All in all, it was an awesome day that was made even better by my mother being the saint that she is and busting out all of the dishes from having everyone over. Now onto the business of preparing myself for the hell that is going to be my first few days back at work. I've made my lists, laid out outfits for both me and the kids for the whole week, and prepped the diaper bag, backpack and my new beautifully gigantic zebra print purse. Still working on the bleeding heart part of leaving my baby at daycare... I'm sure there will be tears, but I know Brooklyn will be no worse for wear. Me on the other hand, might not be so easy...