I don't think you can really know true love until you gaze into the eyes of your baby and are amazed to see a little of you and a little of your husband starring back at you. I was so worried that there wouldn't be enough room in my already bursting heart to welcome another baby into, but boy was I wrong... She fits perfectly into my heart and our family and I already can't imagine life without her beautiful little face.
Here we go:
We got to the hospital on Friday the 16th right around 7:30am to get me checked in and ready for the ECV scheduled at 9:30am. I was ordered into one of those hideous paper napkin feeling robes, hooked up to a GIGANTIC IV, which hurt like a bitch I might add, and attached to all of the fetal monitors and told to rest as much as possible as they waited to get a full bag of fluid in me before they could begin. I've got a dozen tattoos so needles generally don't bother me, but the one, only slightly smaller than a straw, that they put into the back of my hand hurt and is still pretty gnarly looking after a week plus. Then I got to meet GOD, aka the anesthesiologist who introduced himself, cracked a few jokes and got me set for my epidural. Let me tell you, getting an epidural while NOT in active labor was pretty hairy feeling. It felt like he was threading that damn catheter half way up my spine! Anyway, once the drugs kicked in my doc came in and attempted the ECV. From the moment she grabbed Brooklyn's fully engaged into my pelvis booty, I pretty much knew it was C-section time and the emotions came pouring out. I was petrified, I felt like a failure, and now I was being wheeled into a room to have my child scooped out of me... My anesthesiologist was AMAZING and managed to make the entire (very speedy) delivery go by completely pressure and pain free. It was surreal hearing my anesthesiologist invite my husband to stand up and witness my daughter being pulled out, butt first, and watching his face, in complete amazement... I love my husband to death but that man is a whole new person in my eyes after witnessing her being born and coaching me through the whole thing... I'm so proud of him and so happy to be married to such an amazing husband and father....
I was surprised how quickly it all went from them wheeling me in, to hearing her piercing cries shake the walls of the surgery suite. And then I rolled my head to the side and saw this absolutely beautiful, perfect baby girl being rubbed clean in the bassinet by my head and all of my fears and apprehension and regret over not being able to deliver her vaginally all went away. Here she was, the tiny Little elf that had been dancing in ultrasounds for the last 9 months was finally here... I was taken to the recovery room where I proceeded to cry and shiver my way out of the anesthesia with my Mom for a while until they finally brought my Brooklyn to me. I pulled up my robe and nestled her into my chest and felt the biggest smile spread across my face... It was AMAZING... There aren't enough words to describe what I was feeling... I'm crying as I'm writing this but only from happy thoughts.
Jump to today:
Brooklyn slept almost 6 hours last night, she's breastfeeding like a champ and is the most mild mannered baby I've ever encountered. I thought my son was easy, this girl's got him beat by a mile... She only cries for gas bubbles and food, and is quiet and alert the remainder of the time, just staring up at me, with that gaze that only babies have... It's amazing... Being sore and unable to sit up straight for the first few days was rough, but I feel pretty darn good now other than pins and needles and numbness about 2 inches all the way around my incision. I'm also down to 170lbs!! Score!