When you have a baby, at least for me and both of my pregnancies, you sort of lose your swagger for a bit.I know that it all stems from low levels of hormones following birth, but it's kind of depressing when you see a lack of confidence and attitude in yourself that you used to be so proud of.
I've never been one of those women obsessed with my weight or my looks and I think I've only actively dieted probably twice in my life. The first was for a "biggest loser" contest at work with a cash payout for the winner, the other was right before we went to Mexico last year. I hadn't been in a swimsuit, let alone a tiny bikini (of which I bought 4 for the trip) since before Lukey Duke was born and I really wanted to try and look my best for our first REAL vacation ever. I didn't do anything too extreme, just a few weeks of low carb, low calorie and managed to get myself to a trim 148 pounds of sexy mama. I was pretty proud of myself for dropping the weight but new full well that we were trying to get pregnant, and had been for 8 months, so the thought of gaining weight again wasn't a problem. Then we had Miss Brooklyn and I was quite proud of myself for only gaining a modest 30 pounds, compared to the 45+ pounds that I gained with the Duke. It kinda surprised me when the weight started melting of so quickly after she was born and I happily accepted that the last 5 pounds were probably going to stick with me until I was finished breastfeeding...
I've never claimed to be drop dead gorgeous or the sexiest thing alive, but I think I have pretty decent self-esteem and a healthy ego for a 20 something woman. So it kinda started to bother me when I realized that I was subconsciously turning away from Matt when changing clothes. What was happening to me? Why was I suddenly self-conscious around my husband who I've NEVER been nervous to be naked in front of?
This new "timid" me was really starting to piss me off so I decided that no matter what I have to give up (even less sleep, am I crazy or just masochistic?), I'm going to find time for myself everyday. I'm going to find a way to get 30-45 minutes on the treadmill at least 4 times a week and I'm going to firm up my soft mommy body. I know that the weight and the flab won't melt overnight, and I'm ok with that. I just don't want to be hampered with bad body thoughts and I really want to be active again. My kids deserve a happy, unburdened mommy who exudes self confidence and that's what I'm going to give them...
Wish me luck!!
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2 comments:
Good luck! And I like what you are doing and how you are doing it- instead of starving yourself and complaining about your body, you are making a concerted effort to get healthy. What a great role model you will be for Brookie!
I hope so... I don't want to be one of those women who subconsciously teaches her daughter poor body image and self-confidence... Besides, I can't really diet while breastfeeding, I'm pretty sure it would totally ruin my supply and I don't want to do that...
:)
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